Looking Into the Mirror

In the corporate world, there is typically a specific kind of sting reserved for being the "other" department. We watched from the sidelines as our VP’s favorite team (she did have other responsibilities)—the one she actually seemed to value—plastered social media with photos from bougie bowling alleys and a celebratory dinner at a five-star restaurant. Meanwhile, the EHS team was treated like an afterthought, the 'red headed stepchild' , eventually dragged into a "forced" team-building day that felt more like a chore than a reward.

During her excruciating pep talk, she handed out copies of a leadership book written by an ex-Marine. It was framed as a gift—with the most fake smile imaginable. One of my colleagues leaned over with a strange intensity, and whispered, “We need to read it ASAP.”

I went home and started skimming. I took notes, listing out the core pillars of elite leadership: Extreme accountability. Putting the team first. Radical transparency. Consistency in word and action. Blah Blah leadership mumbo-jumbo. I had to say...These weren't just good points; they were the DNA of an effective organization.

Then, I looked the list of great leadership point and mentally compared it to the VP.

The realization smacked me in the face like a brisk smack in the face. She didn’t follow a single one of them. Not the accountability, not the transparency, and certainly not the "team first" mentality. She had handed us a manual that essentially served as a 200-page critique of her own management style.

I went back to my colleague the next day and shared my thoughts. He just smiled and said "No shit".

To this day, I’m still perplexed by the why. Was it a bulk-discount purchase? Was she trying to give us a freebee because everyone loves freebees. Or was she truly that blind to the gap between the pages of that book and the reality of her leadership? I finally donated that book to Goodwill thinking that maybe someone else may find this book useful or better yet, use it as fuel in their fire pit.

The Lesson Learned: The "Mirror" Test

A leadership book is only as good as the person holding it. If you hand your team a set of standards, you are inadvertently handing them a yardstick to measure you. Also, there is no better measure of self-awareness than a book written by a Marine...you can't bullshit them or yourself.